Posts categorized under: soylent

Soylent or: How I Learned To Stop Eating and Love the Soy

Soylent is a nutrition blend that claims to be able to completely replace eating meals. Pour the powder into your blender, add some water, and in sixty seconds, you can have a perfect 15% of your daily recommended everything. Vincent Canfield attempted to eat nothing but Soylent for some 40-odd days, with only a minor blackout during a gym session. I became interested in the idea after reading about his attempt and experiencing frustration with cooking for myself. I have a tub of Soylent mix that is about the size of your standard protein powder tub. Over the next month or so, I will attempt to curb my caffeine addiction (when I say addiction, I mean intense withdrawal and cravings addiction) and eat better.

I have some concerns about the Soylent challenge. The first is that I won't be able to eat fast food, which I practically thrive on. I predict that caffeine withdrawal will first manifest itself as a craving for Baja Blast, and end in a crippling headache and vomiting. I'll try to consider whether it was caffeine or Soylent that will do this to me. My other concern is social. I already struggle to socialize with others, and the end of $0.50 wings could mean the end of Bro Tuesdays. On top of that, more practical concerns include an upcoming surgery and college life. Hopefully, it doesn't fuck up my intestines, either. I've heard horror stories about diarrhea and constipation. The ultimate concern, obviously, is the soy content. I'm afraid of growing a neckbeard and owning a Nintendo Switch. If you ever see me talking about Nintendo, shoot me.

The Process

I've tried some Soylent before when I was in a pinch. I liked using a mason jar and the included scoop to measure out the mix. There were practically no dishes to clean afterwords. It's a little trashy drinking out of a mason jar, but nobody will ever really know.

  1. Measure 2/3 cups of soylent mix. The included scoop is 1/3 cup.
  2. Measure 1 and 1/2 cups of ice water with a mason jar.
  3. Blend, bitch.
  4. Pour into mason jar and feel the soy course through your veins.

Soylent tastes awful. Literally chug a glass of pancake mix to get the Soylent experience. I just hold my nose and finish it as quickly as possible. The taste isn't gross, just unpleasant. It feels like punching nature in the dick. It's unnatural and unnerving. Maybe buying a chocolate flavor or something will make me feel human while drinking it. Other than Soylent, all I would ingest is medication and water.

Thanks for reading my blog post.